holiday survival kit

So.  We’ve talked about the benefits of self-medicating with a steady dose of Sherry to keep you going in the lead-up to Christmas.  You are a rock star, and have been Christmas-partying it up every December weekend.  You’ve taken your Christmas cocktail oath, and are making cocktails sans pulverized candy cane.  BUT – what if you aren’t one of those uber-keeners on Twitter bragging about how you’ve had everything (Christmas cards, shopping, baking, wrapping) done for like weeks now.  What if you still have stuff to do?  What then?  Allow me to introduce Jen’s Holiday Survival Kit:

Check out that swag!

The concept of a holiday survival kit came up several years ago, back when I was still throwing birthday parties for my son, and stuffing loot bags.  My son has a birthday in early December, which means that when the birthday festivities are over, we are full swing into Christmas.  So thoughts of Christmas no doubt creep in despite busy birthday prep.

That year as I was stuffing the kid loot bags, I thought about what goodies I’d put into swag bags for chicks like me.  Fact is, even though most of the great women I know (myself included) have wonderful/helpful/supportive men in their lives to conquer the busy holiday season with, it is the women who still tend to ‘own it’ or ‘take it on’ if you know what I mean.  I wanted to create something special for the women who make the holidays so special for their families.  So I took the concept of loot bag turned it into ‘survival kit’ and stuffed it with essentials.  Here’s what’s in this year’s kit:

1.  Mini bottles of Absolut Vodka:  I don’t even need to explain why this is an important seasonal survival item - but I will say that these can be neatly tucked into your purse and come in handy when you are stranded in the longest line ever at the mall.  You can totally drink these straight (if needed).

In past iterations of the kit, I have included drink recipes, but I just couldn’t get it together this year.  You can usually find five flavour gift packs at the LCBO starting in late November/early December.  Do get them fast though, as they tend to sell-out.

2.  Lancome Juicy Tubes:  While many people may be tempted to save these little babies for the Christmas party or layer it with lipstick, please go ahead and wear it for any last minute Christmas shopping to give yourself that last little bit of attitude you need to dominate the mall.  Also adds a nice effect when you flash the competing car your ‘Better luck next time, suckah!’ smile when you’ve won the parking spot.  Not that I’ve ever done this.  Ahem.  Shall we move on?

3.  Lush Bath Melts in Mango and DreamTime:  Put these in the bath after a long day of merry making.  OR after a confrontation with a fellow last-minute shopper gets ugly.  It’s practically aromatherapy.

4.  Hanky Panky One size fits all thong:  Y’know.  In case you get some action this holiday season.  The size 4-14 range takes the ‘awkward’ out of guessing wrong, and they have ONE MILLION colours and pretty patterns!  I picked them up over at Brachic in Westboro.

5.  Booze filled chocolate.

6.  Disco ball Christmas tree ornament:  Put on the Boney M Christmas album and disco around the Christmas tree (MUCH more fun than rocking around the Christmas Tree!).

7.  Mini bottles of Baileys:  You have to work between Christmas and New Year’s?  Yeah.  Me too.  Take these bottles to work and pour them in your coffee.  Try to find a way to feel smug about the fact that you’re working and that your family is at home possibly still sleeping but definitely still in their PJ’s.  Let me know when you find out what that smug reason is.

My survival kits have become one of my favourite holiday traditions over the years – I try to be as creative as possible, and have a lot of fun doing them.  I do try to get the survival kits out as early as possible in December (as that’s when things start to get crazy), but this year, the best I could do was to get them out to people this past weekend – I dropped off my last two last night.

Over the years I have varied my kits with other essential items such as decadent hot chocolate or bubble bath or luxurious hand cream.  I have also varied the participants over the years as with so many good women in my life, I just can’t get one to everyone every year….so if you’ve been lucky enough to get one this year, enjoy!